Iris
by Future Miss CSI60
Summary: GSR: She was the best thing he had ever known…even if she was not his. Even if he never got to experience the touch of her skin, the feeling of her breath, the rush of her kiss. She would always be the greatest thing that ever happened to him.


**Title: **Iris

**Summary: **Songfic to Iris by Goo Goo Dolls.

**Pairings:** GEEKLOVE! Duh!

**Spoilers:** Scuba Doobie-Doo, Burden of Proof, Play With Fire, Nesting Dolls, Bloodlines

**Disclaimer: **I own everything but the song…and Grissom…and Sara. Okay, I own nothing…except Nick. --mischievous grin--JK! He's not even in this book! And I don't own him other wise…--humph--

**A/N: **Okay, I saw this same book was done by another author…but I love this idea so much! This was one of my first plot bunnie/songfics...I love it too much not to do it. Sorry:) (NOTE: this is one of the reposted songfics)...

I know, I know…I'm addicted to songfics…BUT I LOVE THEM!

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IRIS**

He wasn't sure when exactly he fell in love with Sara Sidle. He figured it was somewhere between 'Hi.' and 'I'm Sara Sidle.' But other than that he wasn't sure…you couldn't say it was love at first sight…because it wasn't. True, he'd been in love with her for forever, but it started out as an innocent fascination.

But that soon spiraled out of control somewhere between that dazzling smile and giddy laugh.

He'd always wondered what it would be like to feel her. To stroke her creamy skin.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you, _

He wondered if she knew…did she even suspect his feelings? She had to…Sara Sidle was far too bright as to not catch onto his looks…no matter how brief and innocent. And his words…even if they did sound casual. Surely she knew that when he said 'Good job', it meant 'I love you.'

_  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow._

She was the best thing he'd ever known…even if she wasn't his. Even if he never got to experience the touch of her skin, the feeling of her breath, the rush of her kiss. She'd always be the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,_

One thing was for sure…if he ever had her, he'd never let her go. Not like that idiot Hank the Skank. He wouldn't misuse Sara. He'd savor every kiss, remember every word, and relish in every touch. He'd never let her go and he'd never leave her.

_And I don't want to go home right now. _

There had been one time that she had touched his cheek. She said that she was wiping plaster from his face…but he knew that was a lie. He had just washed his face with cold water to wake himself up and calm himself down…there was no plaster.

When her soft, smooth skin made contact with his rough chin…he felt chills throughout his body. His skin tingled, his mouth went dry, and he was weak at the knees. But she eventually removed her hand and he felt lost…he needed her touch.

_And all I can taste is this moment._

Another time she had come within inches of his face. Her warm, minty breath cascaded against his skin and he wanted to stay there forever. Close to her…close enough to here her heart beat, in perfect rhythm with his own. He had inhaled deeply as if to capture a part of her within him…no such luck.

_And all I can breathe is your life._

She had almost left…she threatened to leave Vegas before…but she had almost died once. She had been caught in the lab explosion. He had gotten word that Greg and Sara were both injured. His heart felt heavy for Greg…but it died for Sara. She had survived…thank God. Because if she hadn't…he wouldn't have.

She was almost fired by Ecklie. He had ordered Grissom to carry out the deed…but he wouldn't. He put his job on the line before he would have fired Sara. True, he knew Ecklie wouldn't have fired him…but that didn't matter. As long as she was still there and he could see her everyday he would be fine.

_'Cause sooner or later it's over,_

He had picked her up from a police station once…she had been taken in for DUI. He had taken her hand and brought her back to her home…he asked her if she'd be okay by herself. She said that she'd be fine. He had nodded and left her at her apartment…but he didn't want to. He wanted to lay with her and hold her…simply hold her all night.

_I just don't want to miss you tonight. _

He wasn't scared. He wasn't really shy. He was mostly private…he liked his space. He liked stability. He liked knowing he didn't have to depend on anyone…and so did she. But he had created for himself his own little world at which he could be alone.

_And I don't want the world to see me,  
_

He wasn't really scared of what to think of the world…he knew what to think. He dealt with that nightly. He was afraid of what they'd think of him. He understood them…they just couldn't understand him.

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand._

He knew that the world could be vicious; he knew it could break a man down emotionally in a matter of minuets.

_When everything's made to be broken, _

That's why he needed her. She could help him and protect him. She could make him be a better person. But he'd have to tell her that first…he'd have to explain who he was and why…could he do that? Was he strong enough? He'd have to be…because he couldn't go on much loner with out her.

_I just want you to know who I am. _

She had told him about herself…why she was the way she was…her story. She told him how her mother had killed her father and how she was sent away, and mocked, and ridiculed. She was known as 'the girl whose mother stabbed her father to death'. And that broke his heart…but he couldn't show it.

It wasn't that he didn't want to, God he wanted to…he just couldn't. He wanted to cry for her…but his emotional façade prevented that…which was what he made it to do. So this was his own fault.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,_

She'd once told him that she was fine during a case that was really eating her alive. She said she didn't need time off to pull herself together…she was okay. But she lied. She wasn't fine. But he couldn't see that. He couldn't tell that she was really screaming for his help. The flicker of pain in her eyes should've tipped him off…but he'd missed that signal…and she paid for it.

_Or the moment of truth in your lies._

Sara had once been taken captive by a mental patient. He held a ceramic weapon to her throat and threatened to end her life right there. Without knowing how he really felt about her…she would have died.

_When everything feels like the movies, _

As mentioned before, she had been in an explosion; it seems Sara is a magnet for danger, and she had a gash on her hand. She was frazzled and scared. She was hurt and bleeding…

_And you bleed just to know you're alive. _

…he had barely fixed her.

He guessed that in a lot of ways they were alike. Both shy, private, workaholics, with hidden pasts, and excellent facades…so why did she terrify him? It was like a fear of babies…something small and helpless, something you once were, so why did they scare people?

Sara was small…and needed help…something he is…so why did she frighten him? Why couldn't he tell her how he feels and quit with the charade?

_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. _

Because she was Sara Sidle…

_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. _

And he was Gil Grissom…

_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. _

And he had messed up.

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A/N: What'd ya think? LET ME KNOW!**

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